I wanna hold your hand

The first time we held hands I knew

I knew you were special

Oh I tried to deny it

Like I didn’t feel the sparks

Like my heart didn’t just skip a beat

But deep down I knew

 

The way our palms met effortlessly

and our fingers intertwined as if we’ve been doing this for a while

When we first held hands

Our souls met and that was the beginning of forever

Deep down I knew and you did too

It’s like our hearts had it’s own conversation

That our brain wasn’t invited to

They spoke a secret language that only they could understand

 

And now looking down at our hands

Old and wrinkled, with scars full of stories

I know that, I never wanna let go of your hand

 

 

Elevator Love

You know it’s funny

Because Hollywood tells us

You know right away if they’re the one

The close confinement creates sparks

The first kiss is magical

The first touch tingles…..

Sold on this fairytale 

That true love is known within 15 seconds

But

While we were on the rooftop he cheated on me

We got about a quarter of the way down when he realized that I wasn’t enough and that someone else held his heart

About halfway down he left me because I wasn’t what he was looking for

But I’m still riding this elevator down

Praying that once I reach my floor

My Prince Charming will be waiting for me

But 

Prince Charming doesn’t exist

No in the real world

We’re swept away by the lines that work in films 

Not realizing that they boxed us with a B celebrity

So caught up in the sweet words that we’ve dreamed of hearing

Because Hollywood sold us on their version of love

The happy ever after where he really can’t stand when you’re upset

The version where conflicts are resolved with a kiss

I don’t know….

Maybe there’s some truth to it all

Maybe I haven’t been on the right elevator ride just yet

Maybe I’m on the right ride 

But it’s simply not my turn

 

March 6, 2012

Love a word that comes and goes

Because we’re constantly trying to grasp its meaning

An emotion that’s hard to comprehend

A word full of actions without definitions

 

Love a four letter word

That makes the world a better place

A word that holds so much

That its never perfect

 

Love comes with kindness, trust, honesty, communication

And most important of all friendship

 

Love a word abused by the youth

Because they don’t know its true value

 

Love is found everywhere but hard to identify

Such a simple thing but complicated emotion

People believe they find it at different stages of their lives

Some call it puppy love, others call it true love

I call it a foundation of two hearts

Merging into one

 

Love is a learning process

That comes with obstacles

“Good things comes to those who wait”

Patiently growing into love

May help you find it after all

I’ll Wait (Men’s perspective)

I hold on tight while you’re in my arms

Because although I know you want more you’re not ready

I need more too but you’re not there yet

So I hold on tight with each hug

Thinking to myself

One day

It’ll be more than just a hug

One day it’ll be more than just a conversation in each other’s arms

One day it’ll be more than us catching up

One day it’ll be you and I as one

One day this hug will lead into a kiss

One day this hug will lead to I love you

One day this hug will make you my wife

One day I’ll look back and remember

It all started with a hug

But baby I’m waiting on you

Waiting for you to let go of the past

To set your wings and fly

With the confidence I know you possess

But until then I’ll wait

Because you’re worth it

And there’s no need to rush

When love is the answer

Current Situation

 

I mean I think I have every right to be afraid

Afraid because of all my past experiences

I know it’s wrong to prejudge a relationship based on the past

But how can I not when

One says he loves me then cheats on me

Another says he loves me but not as much as he’ll love someone else

And another says he loves me but can’t handle me so he walks away

They all talk a good game in the beginning

But then shit turns sideways

And all of a sudden you gotta let go

Cause it’s getting too much…

So yeah I’m afraid but I’m also tired

Tired of being cast aside

Tired of being loved halfway

Tired of giving my all and getting a portion in return

Tired of being told I love you

When in the end they all walk away

I’m tired, I am tired, I am so tired of losing myself

So yeah imma sit back I’ll focus on God, focus on me

And if you think you can walk into my life

And stay no matter what comes our way

Then welcome, if not then Let’s stick to the friendship

I’m not ready

Truth is I like you

Probably more than I should

Maybe it’s your honesty that’s so appealing, I don’t know

But I can’t be with you

You want someone serious and committed

And I can be that I’m just not willing

My heart has too much healing to do

I walk around like all is great

When I can’t even fully give myself away

I like our friendship

It means a lot to me, even if we don’t talk all the time

You’re never far from my thoughts

I get excited to see you, especially when you’re in town

I just can’t be with you

I mean are we honestly willing to jeopardize our friendship over a relationship that may not last?

We both know we care

But I can’t

I want forever even though forever scares me

I want a relationship that’s more than sex

I want love, but I’m not ready

My heart has a lot of repairing to do

Before I’m ready for God to bless me

With the love of my life

Waiting..

When we first started talking

I didn’t think it would get serious

And when things switched from casual

I prayed

I asked God

“Please let him be my last”

I thought maybe if I asked

It would come true

Playing myself like I was wishing upon a star

When I just needed to wait

So when he asked I said yes

Regretting those words with my next breath

Now he’s gone, it’s over

And I’m relieved

Because now I can focus on being a better me

So the next time a guy asks I’ll say no

Until God tells me yes