Dating in the Bible

We’re starting a series! Of something technically non-existent. There are no stories of dating in the Bible.

Nevertheless, I want to take the time to look at some couples in the Bible and dissect their journey to getting together.

Our first couple is Ruth and Boaz

For our non-Christian readers, Ruth is one of 39 books in the Old Testament of the Holy Bible. Yes, the book is called “Ruth” and it consists of 4 chapters total. You’ve probably heard the phrase of “I’m looking for my Boaz” or “God, where is my Boaz?” They all stem from these lively 4 chapters.

So who is Ruth? Ruth was a Moabite and Moabites are the descendants of the daughters of Lot, after they deceived their father into sleeping with them to continue their bloodline. (Genesis 19: 30 – 38 for context).

Ruth was first married to a man from the tribe of Ephraim, descendent of Joseph (Ephraim is one of the 12 tribes of Israel). However, this first husband died. So in the first chapter, we meet Ruth as a widow. She had a good relationship with her mother-in-law and felt such a strong kinship that she decided to follow her mother-in-law back to the land of Judah.

To my understanding and context clues, it was hard for a woman to survive in those times without the headship of a man. Whether that be a father or husband. So here we have a young widow, who left her homeland to remain with her mother-in-law. Already she’s in a new environment and unfamiliar territory.

Ruth was blessed because she had a wise mother-in-law. She saw the sacrifice of Ruth and decided that it would not be in vain. Under her mother-in-law’s instructions, Ruth started to work in the fields of Boaz, after gaining his permission. He gave her the approval to work ONLY in his field and sort of lumped her into his “staff”. Ruth still worked diligently.

Due to her character which stayed consistent throughout the 4 chapters, she caught the eyes of Boaz. Basically, while doing what she was told and working well, her character made Boaz ask about her.

Boaz was a leader, someone in charge, respected and honored, someone that the people could trust. (If you’re looking for a Boaz, those should at the least be some of his characteristics.)

The wise mother-in-law once again instructed Ruth on how to approach Boaz. Though widowed, there were still etiquette to maintain. Basically, she said “there’s this event tonight, after Boaz is resting, go lay at his feet and he’ll give you further instructions.” Ruth walked in obedience!

Event happened, she laid at his feet, he woke up and asked her for her name. Having seen and hearing about her character, he basically said “I’ll take care of you.” They got together and married and she conceived a child who ended up being the grandfather of King David.

Now, let’s break this down.

Did they date? No.
How did they meet? Her destiny helper (her mother-in-law) introduced her.
What attracted him to her? Her character

There was no courting phase, she went about her business and he went about his and God still pointed them to each other. It never explicitly says that Ruth was looking for a husband, but rather a way to live. ruth had diligence, she didn’t grumble, she held her own and Boaz appreciated what he saw and heard about Ruth.

They didn’t date and yet, their story is many strive for. I believe that there are a few things to keep in mind with this story, if this is your goal.

Be kind to your destiny helpers, whether you know who they are or not.
Be obedient to wise counsel.
Be someone of good character.
Make sure the person you want to be with also has good character.
Focus on your focus. One of the ministers loves to quote this, and this story shows proof of that.
Be brave and bold.

Which Bible characters should I focus on next?