Who are you?

Outside of your relationship, who are you? In your relationship, who are you? Are you the same person? Are you different? How do you stay true to yourself?

For context, I started writing this blog post over a year ago and never got to finish. Yet the question still stands, who are you right now?

In the month of January, Coach Lesley (my First Lady) led a women’s mentorship and the topic was on identity. It was a 3-day 9 hours workshop where we learned and were able to talk to known and unknown women about the things that shape us. It was so enriching to be able to converse and learn from so many different women. One of the major takeaways from that month was that you have to accept who you are and learn to work on what needs to be worked on. In layman’s terms, recognize that you’re not perfect and that you can use some self-improvements. In realizing and coming to terms with who we are, we move differently and understand the power that we hold and how that can impact others. Someone is indeed watching us and using us as a template, somewhere, someway, somehow. [Follow them on IG for upcoming mentorships].

Here’s the truth, is our identity changes based on the current season in our lives. So we need an inventory or take a moment of reflection.

Are you at a comfortable spot with your life? Is there growth happening or maybe growth you want to see? Are the right people in your life, have some outgrown their time? Are you carrying unnecessary baggage or are you packed just right? Has there been some drastic, life changing experiences and how has that impacted you? Are you in a new environment or you just made some slight changes or is everything the same? If you’re able to, have you switched the layout of your room?

Just ask yourself, who am I today? Who am I right now?

This blog consists of more questions than anything else and that’s intentional.

Have you read any books of late that altered your brain chemistry? Did you hear something that you’ve always heard but this time it sounded different?

Have you healed from your last heartbreak? Did you “move on” but really just brush everything under the carpet ? Would the person you were a year ago be proud of who you are now? Would younger you like or accept current you?

These are hard questions, even for me. Right now I feel like I’m in limbo, I know who I want to be and where I want to be. I know I’m not there yet, I am staying anchored in Christ and in the Word because truly, that keeps me from wanting to say something foolish as “I feel purposeless.”

I want to encourage someone right now. I know it feels weird to not be able to pinpoint who you are and that’s ok. Sometimes we have to go back to the basics. In this very moment, are you sad? happy? content? scared? From there, look to see your role in other people’s lives; amongst your family, friends and those who you see on a regular basis.

Discover new hobbies or revisit old ones, it’s ok to try something new. I started over by attending a new church and after 20 years at one church, it’s a big change. I’m adjusting. It’s different but growth doesn’t happen without discomfort.

So, it’s okay to start over. Look at where you want to be, not where the people around you are. Your journey is not theirs, your path is your own. Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” God, the creator of this great big world thinks of you and wants good things for you. Keep going, keep pushing, even when it doesn’t make sense.

And if no one has told you this recently, I’m proud of you.