Pages of Love

You know those short reels of stories that keep popping up all over social media? More specifically the Chinese ones. Well I got sucked into the rabbit hole, found them on YouTube and now that’s almost all I watch. Some of them are downright horrible, not in terms of acting but the things the characters go through.

I was watching one titled “CEO, quickly chase your wife, madam is getting married.” I haven’t finished and I’m not sure if I will go back to it to finish it either. Basically, the female lead is the secretary of the CEO and they’ve also been sleeping together for like 5 years. The show starts out that she wakes up one day and finds out that he’s getting married. It is an arranged marriage. The secretary had hoped that she would be officially recognized by him but now that’s out the window.

In a sense, the CEO has no real say in his marriage because it was an agreement made by the elders of the family. You know how way back when, people used to get married to elevate themselves instead of for love. Aristocrats marrying into other families to get in the export business and such. Same concept here, tie two powerful families together through the alliance of marriage.

Back to the show at hand, I will say that she (the secretary) is smarter than him because as soon as the announcement of his engagement happened, she started pulling away. Not sure if he had a mindset of having his cake and eating it too, but he was still trying to sleep with her…like SIR you are promised to someone else! That’s as much of the story as I can give without spoiling the portions I’ve watched.

After I stopped watching around the 45 minute mark, I had an epiphany. Thinking back to the other shows with a similar story-line, I realized, these women were going through so much stuff unnecessarily because they were unequally yolked in the eyes of their families.

你是什​​么意思?

Taking it back to scriptures real quick, 2 Corinthians 6:14 states “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?” (NLT version).

Huh? How does this correlate? It makes sense for the CEO to marry someone of his calibre because her connections can help him reach further with less hassles. While though the secretary plays an integral part in his work life, she can’t open doors like his fiancé can.

Now wouldn’t that be unfair? Yes, yes it would. But here’s why I say that.

In the case of the show mentioned, the CEO’s mother knew about the relationship between her son and his secretary. However, though she liked her as a person, due to the gap in their family background, she could never willingly accept her as a daughter-in-law, never mind the woman behind a man of such calibre.

In this show, the mother of the CEO tried to set the secretary up with her gardeners son, because in her eyes they are of the same calibre. In other shows, the MIL treats the female lead like a slave and servant. Making her cook, clean, take care of the house and go grocery shopping while she sits back like the queen of the castle. As soon as she finds someone who is worthy of her son, the MIL would force the girl to divorce the male lead. You would have to watch one to really visualize the abuse that these women go through when someone believes that they are too different to be together.

What I am trying to say is that, these women wouldn’t be getting smacked, drugged, manipulated and practically sh*ted on if they were seen as equals to their partners. A lot of the experiences they go through in those shows would be avoided. But, if they did go for someone of their calibre then the show would have no drama and be boring.

How does this relate to real life and 2 Corinthians 6:14? There’s been a lot of skits and discourse on social media about how woman want man to take care of them with the only return being their body. First of all, if you really think that way, seek professional help. My word of advice is this, don’t ask for what you’re not able to provide for your partner. I’m talking beyond the financial setting.

If you want a woman who cooks, cleans and takes care of the household, you as a man should also be able to do these things. We are human beings, not robots, we get sick, sometimes we feel weak. Now let’s say, your partner gets sick, are you gone sit on your butt and watch them break their back or you gonna step up and handle business? By the way, if the only time you cook, clean and take care of the household is when she’s sick or weak, once again seek professional help.

If you’re asking for a man who is a prayer warrior but you can’t even pray for 5 minutes, how would that work?

These online discourses makes me believe that there is a spiritual attack on marriages. People don’t want to get married anymore, because options honestly feel like there’s no substance. Be intentional.

You like someone? Make sure your core values are the same or at least similar. Be on the same page about important things. If you’re dating to marry and the other person doesn’t believe in marriage, why are you wasting your time? You want to marry this person and have kids but they don’t, you’re setting yourself up for resentment. Be intentional!

Take care of yourself, evaluate and reflect on your value and substance.

For the sake of argument, you come from a poor family and he’s rich. If you’re comfortable with the bare minimum of course you will face harder adversaries. However, if you recognize your value and elevate yourself, regardless of where you came from, you will be looked up to. You have grit and determination, you’re strong and capable because you didn’t let how you started become your identity.

Going after someone with money when you have no intention of being able to provide for yourself is bad planning.

If your faith is the top thing you value, match yourself with someone with the same faith and value. If family is the top thing you value, get with someone who also values family. If money is the top thing you value, get with someone who knows how to multiply their finances.

Ask yourself, whether in a relationship, married, single, situationship, whatever. Am I equally yolked with the person I’m with or like? Do we share the same values? If yes, congratulations. If not, are they worth it? Do they believe that you’re worth it?