Pages of Love

The book of Genesis chapter 2 verse 18 is well-known scripture. The New King James Version states that “And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

There’s a reason why I chose the NKJV, rather than the NIV which says “helper that its suitable for him.” However, the word comparable made me think on this verse differently.

As a woman who is preparing for marriage and the ministry that it is, I have to reflect. I know we sometimes get upset that men ask women “what do you bring to the table?” But honestly, Genesis 2:18 basically states that we can’t come to the table empty handed.

Yes, be independent. But let’s not act like we don’t need men.

And this is where the reflection comes in, take an inventory of yourself. Your partner should be of higher standard/value than you. Before you come for me, hear me out.

You can’t be a college graduate trying to build a home with someone who only has their GED and never strives to better himself. You can’t be a manager and your partner has no authority anywhere. Talk about unequally yolked!

Just as the same, your partner should be able to proudly stand next to you, no matter what stage you’re at in life.

When I was in my early 20s I didn’t have a good view of marriage. I knew I wanted it but it scared me and I was nowhere near ready for it. Now I look at marriage with less naive eyes. It’s work, requires sacrifice, selflessness and lots of patience. At church, we learned that love is not feelings but a choice backed by actions. If you’re going to get married, let it be to someone who is comparable to you.

You ever watch Chinese shorts? There’s a constant theme with the girls the male lead doesn’t want. She doesn’t believe that the girl he likes is worthy of him because of her lack of status and background. However, the couples always see value in one another. The unwanted girl, or as we fondly call them, the “green tea” 绿茶 stands firm in her conviction that she is more comparable to the male lead. In reality all she has is her background but nothing of substance that stems from her.

I caught a revelation the other day on Proverbs 18:22 which says “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.” Scripture doesn’t say he who finds a WOMAN but rather a wife. Being a wife is more than just a title, it’s a character. If you’re a woman looking for marriage, does your character reflect that of a wife?

….I might have rambled. But, to wrap this all up, don’t just choose anyone in partner, select one that elevates and complements you.