It’s a total lack of trust
So here’s what happened, during my birthday week celebration my parents went on their first roller coaster ride. After the ride my dad said “I thought I was gonna fall, but after the first dip I didn’t fall and I knew I would be okay.”
Fast forward to tonight, I just watched “nobody’s fool” with my sisters and it hit me. (Tipsy mind working). We scream because we don’t trust that we won’t fall or we think that somewhere long the ride something will go wrong and we won’t be able to recover from the damage.
Sort of like when people get hurt and then decide to get back out there. You know you want to move on (get on that roller coaster), you know you’ve pre-vetted the guy or girl (checked to make sure you’re truly strapped in) but you still scream when the ride goes down on turns a corner too fast or goes backwards at top speed. You get scared when things start to go wrong, a.k.a your first disagreement/argument.
Here’a how “Nobody’s Fool” ties in. Danica (Tika Sumpter) is heartbroken over her ex-fiance dumping her and moving on. Even though Danica’s been hurt she still wants to find love, she wants someone who matches everything on her “list.” (Lists don’t work ladies/gents). Charlie (the guy she’s never met but has been dating for a year) seems like the perfect guy. He checks everything off her list while Frank (Omari Chadwick) is someone she could never see herself associated with. Of course, predictable we know who she ends up with.
However, during the movie Danica “harmlessly” flirted with Frank while she was dating Charlie. (She didn’t want to admit that she had a thing for Frank). As she gets to know more about Frank (who she actually sees regularly) she becomes blinded by his flaws and imperfections (things that aren’t on her list). But, he’s great in bed so she keeps him around until she finally meets Charlie. Danica drops Frank like hot potatoes to be with the guy who matches everything on her “list”. Finds out, Charlie isn’t the guy for her but she was so stuck on that list that she couldn’t see Frank for what he was.
Danica’s list was her safety net or in this case “pre-vetting” process. Frank is clearly the roller coaster, he takes turns with her that feel unexpected and because it doesn’t fit her “plan” for her life she tries to fall back.
What am I getting at? Trust yourself to make the right decision for YOU. Let go and enjoy the twist and turns of your partner, it builds character. I am not saying to stay with an asshole or jerk or disrespectful person. But don’t dismiss someone simply because they don’t fit in your box.