Lisa Consults

How to shoot your shot?

If you’re shy, the best thing would be to throw that shyness out the window. However, if timidity is just a part of your personality here are some tips.

• Directly ask for his/her number (preferably in person, I know it scares you but you can do it).
• Start a conversation: ask questions you want to know the answer to
  • ex: what do you do for fun? maybe you’ll have common hobbies which could be what leads to your first date.
  • what sort of food do you like to eat? you’ll have an idea of what to avoid/get when you get food together
  • what’s your typical bedtime? you can’t get mad at them for not answering a text at 2 a.m.  if they already told you their usual bedtime is about 12 a.m.
• Be consistent – personally nothing aggravates me more than a fool who pops in and out on me. One moment it’s “when are we hanging out?” or some version of that to absolute silence, no communication for weeks or months. If you’re interested I need that consistency. (I believe most people would agree).
• Show off a little bit – and I do mean a LITTLE bit, it’s good to see what you’re confident. Whether it be writing spoken word or singing or playing an instrument or whatever. Let them know this is ONE or two of the many things you excel at.
• Laughter: I know, this should be common sense but there is nothing more attractive than someone who can make you laugh. That shows your “crush” that YOU have a sense of humor AND they GET your humor. Nobody likes when their jokes fall flat.

For my bold friends, the approaches above work too. However, here’s how you could do things differently.

• Use your main point of contact such as Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter, Text and say “I find you to be (insert adjective) and I’d like to know you better” or some version of that.
  • straight forward, to the point, you’re not playing games.
• Set up a face to face interaction between the two of you within at least two weeks.
  • there are some people who only believe in communicating behind screens – we’re not about that.
• Let me know how it goes from there.

IF you shoot your shot and get turned down – First, I’m sorry and that’s their lost. But how do you handle that? Because truthfully, you could follow the setup above and still get shot down. It sucks and it hurts and it kicks at your self-esteem. Everyone deals differently so I don’t know. But I’ll tell you what I’ve done when I got shot down, in my next blog post. Stay tuned.