This is weird, because this is coming during a time where I’ve seen one of the worst traits of men, specifically Haitian men. Backstory, this Haitian dude dated a girl named Evelyne Sincere for about a year and then: raped her, killed her and left her in the streets on a pile of trash after asking for a ransom. For more information, click here. The killers (yes killers) interview, after being apprehended I did not watch. However, the whole incident re-surfaced the lack of trust in Haitian men. There is a stigma within the Haitian community that Haitian man are “bad”. Yes they are some Haitian men who make you question their values. Too often we hear about the bad ones, but I want to take this time to highlight the ones who were raised to respect, love and cherish women.

Example one: my father. My dad is not perfect, no one is but my dad is a hardworking man. He values his family and because of that, he works hard to provide for us. Although I am not as close to him as I am to my mom, I’ve learned a lot from him. Through his long lectures, I have gained sound advice about finances, taking care of myself, being a responsible adult and so on. My dad has a very chill personality which I try to channel most of the time. He’s a very humbled and simple guy. My parents have been married for 25 years and they have polar opposite personalities. The reason why they work is because they both put in the effort, they understand each other’s love languages. Sure, they argue and disagree at times but, they recognize their value in each other so they’ll never walk away.

Example two: a good friend of mine who shall not be named. He’s happily married with two beautiful daughters and is driven by the love for his family. He’s about my age, a year older and although we don’t talk often, I look up to him. I’ve known him for a while and I have watched him and his wife, when they first started dating til now and they have a beautiful love story. Their love and dedication to each other is just beautiful and I appreciate them.

Example three: my boyfriend. Out of all the Haitians that I’ve dated/messed with, I can honestly say I am my happiest now. He figured me out from the jump, I am a princess, and he called me out on it. That didn’t deter him from pursuing me and I’m glad that he did. He truly, genuinely cares. Not saying that my exes didn’t care but his love for me is different. It’s funny because even though we have a 12-year difference, when we’re together it doesn’t feel like it. He holds nothing back, but he is respectful. He is big on communicating with each other, even if we don’t like what the other has to say. And that right there is what makes me appreciate what we have, more than anything. It pushes me to be open, not only with him but also with myself. I am not one to openly share how I feel, even with those close to me. In this relationship, I’ve learned and grown so much in the year and five months that we’ve been together. We’re still falling asleep on the phone with each other, we listen to each other, come to each other’s rescue when need be. Best of all, we support each other and push each other when we feel that we’re slacking or not giving something that deserves it our best. What I’m saying is, he’s not just my boyfriend, he’s becoming my partner and I love him.

Some Haitian men are absolute headaches but there are gems who can be found, if they’re meant to be for us.