So I’ve been single for about 3 years now and honestly it’s been on purpose. Much as it pains me to admit it, my parents were right I was jumping from relationship to relationship.
The issue was, I didn’t know who I was. With every relationship I was trying to fit this mold of who my partner thought I was or wanted me to be. As you can imagine it was frustrating for the both of us.
So like I said, I’ve remained single.
I had to figure out who I was as an individual so that I wouldn’t get sucked into being this person that wasn’t really me.
I spent these past years trying new things and stepping out of my comfort zone and I honestly have enjoyed these years of discovery. I wasn’t in “relationships” but I “talked” to some people and I was able to put into perspective my flaws and strengths.
I’m still discovering things about myself but I’m a lot more confident in the woman I am. And because of that, I am able to recognize my self-worth. I know what I deserve, I know what I won’t settle for. I know that I’m not going to let other people’s opinions influence who I end up with.
I’m also trusting God and remaining in constant communication with Him. Every time I start to like someone I question it. “Do I like him because I’m seeing so much of him?” “Is it his looks that are drawing me in?” “Based on what I already, would we mesh or clash?”
These are some of the things that I ask myself. And I’ve also created a method to my madness; I give my attractions 1 month. If nothing happens in one month to solidify my interest I let go.
I’m at this stage where I am looking for my husband. I don’t need to be in a relationship with him yet, but I want us to have at least our friendship established. I’m not going to rush things but let things flow naturally. And honestly, this is going to be hard for me because I’m really not a patient person but I’ll make it.